1. Go to the freezer of the person that took home last year's tzimmos that nobody touched.
2. Unwrap the tin foil that last year's host wrapped it in.
3. Smell it. (Even though it is frozen, you're a Jew...It is a habit to smell everything that has been wrapped and stored.)
4. Set microwave timer for the maximum defrost. (Since you don't really know what's in this stuff, you don't really know how long it will take to defrost!)
5. Mix it up good, to make sure it is really defrosted, and you can say you made fresh! Get it to steam. You can't have ice chunks in your fresh tzimmos! (Although if you did, you could say it was one of the ingredients.)
5a. Smell it again (you're a Jew). If you ever poisoned anyone with your food, you would have broken the 11th commandment "Thou shall not kill with your cooking, so smell it to see if it is bad."
6. Get it out of that plastic thing it was frozen in last year and into one of your serving dishes like it was your own. But save the plastic! There is sure to be tzimmos left over for someone to take home.
7. Smell it again, just to be sure!
8. Have a happy holiday!
Peter Silverstein lives in Florida, but grew up in the Greater Boston area. He occasionally sends entertaining emails to his cousin who is on the ShalomBoston.com staff.