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Food Editor's Note:  This recipe was circulated by a local orthodox rabbi.  It was a big hit with our staff and we want to pass it on to you in the celebratory spirit of Purim.

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
1 GALLON Vodka


Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl.

Check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink.


Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup bitter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the vodka is still OK.

Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriber.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt.  Or something.  Who cares?

Check the vodka.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain the sugar.

Add one table spoon of sugar or something.  Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to burn off the turner.

Throw the bowl out the window.

Check the whisky again.

Go to bed.

Who likes fruitcake anyway?

Have a great Purim …… and don't forget to be "machmir" on the halacha: AD DELO YADA!!!


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